In Which I Write Newman's Own

Newman's Own is a company that seems to have a good sense of humor about themselves. I'm also a fan of their products. So, I wrote them a letter.

Their reply made all my dreams come true:


You're the best, Roberta.

10 free items! I had just over a month to use these, which was difficult because stores would only accept one coupon per checkout and I didn't want to be the annoying ass who checks out multiple times in a row. I think I ended up cashing in 9 out of 10. Our pizza and pasta sauce needs were met for quite some time...

Thanks, Newman's Own, for extending your charity to bottom-feeders like me.